Pride, Conceit, Humility, Confidence, or Inferiority?

A young woman recently asked, “Every time someone gives me a compliment, or I think I am doing a good job at something, I worry that I am being prideful. How can I know the difference being prideful, which is a negative quality, and being confident?”

Many people confuse humility and inferiority.  They think that to be humble they need to belittle themselves.  When someone gives them a compliment, they feel it is their duty to say things like, “Oh no, I’m not that good, you should see how terrible I am….” or  “Thanks, but I made a ton of mistakes…” as they procede to pick apart the compliment.

Rule #1:  When someone gives you a compliment, accept it graciously without excuse.  “Thank you very much.  I appreciate that you noticed.”

Actually, humility is the the foundation of real self-confidence.  True humility says that there is always someone better and always someone worse. True humility says, “I can accept where I am right now,even though I am working to be better. ”  People that are confident and humble are comfortable asking for help from God and others.

Rule #2: Humility is a comfortable reliance on God’s power while acknowledging that God does indeed  help us do powerful things. 

True humility says that I don’t have to better than someone else to be happy with my efforts.  A warning sign of pride is when we  compare ourselves to others.  When we are prideful, we either end up being constantly last in our comparisons to others, or we privately gloat that we are better.

Rule #3: Truly confident people can celebrate the accomplishments of others.  They do not find it diminishing to themselves when others succeed.

Simultaneously, truly confident people celebrate their own successes.  It’s okay to feel great after a job-well-done.  In fact, confident people know how to be their own best friend and to “cheerlead” themselves throughout the day.  People have a happier day when they have positive self-talk, especially when they don’t meet their ideals.

Rule #4: Be your own cheerleader

• I wish I could have done better, but I can feel satisfied with my efforts.
• I am grateful for what I learned, even though I made a mistake.
• What another zit? Oh well, my hair looks great.

The best kept beauty secret:  Years ago I read an article in Reader’s Digest that said the quality that most attracted guys to a girl is…..(drum roll, are you ready?)….SELF CONFIDENCE.  So stop picking on your faults and celebrate the good things in yourself and others.